Sunday, December 18, 2011

things need to be said

i'm not backing down
because i still think what i said
but i am sorry people were hurt

Monday, December 12, 2011

being ignorant makes me...

i wanted to say mad,
because that's what i want to label it at first
and then i realize it's pity and sadness

you don't get over a huge,
life changing, traumatic event
and when someone goes through something similar
you feel an unfortunate kinship-
one that you never wished to share with anyone, ever

no one will understand it
no one will be able to say the right thing
but when the people who are closest to you
start talking about a similar event
and talk about the things you went through
and say they can't imagine what it's like
it makes me want to scream, and cry, and run
run from them, run from the people i thought understood
understood my family, understood me

i know, i know what it's like
i know what it's like to never want to be happy again
i know what it's like to want all of this, this event, this life, all of it, to be over
i know what it's like to see it all unfold in front of you

i know what it's like to think what if
what if i hadn't fallen asleep
what if i had acted earlier
what if things were different
what if he were still here

and what hurts the most is i still feel alone
i feel like i never even knew them
like they never knew us, me
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