I don't know about others but almost anything in a movie can get me crying, no joking. I'm almost embarrassed to see heart wrenching movies in public because of how much I know i'll cry but i digress.
After a quick trip out to East Freaking Nowhere to check on a house i'm house sitting at 6 in the morning so i'd have enough time to make it back for my overnight trip to troy, alabamba my brother will turned to The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian. I didn't sit down and watch with him but i was in and out of the room, looking for my camera charger only to have no luck, i saw parts of the movie. As I walked in once I had to stop. The Narnian army had gone to the castle and were fighting, I was stopped as I saw one animal, don't ask me what it was I couldn't tell you, was holding up the gate so that other could get out. And once he had fallen from the arrows that it him, soldiers were stuck unable to get out, and had no choice but to stay and fight to their death. The silent looks between them told a story too long for a single movie. The one agony, courage, honor, sadness, thankfulness. Those soldiers could have been mad and tried to escape they fought, they fought for what should have been and would be.
I don't know why it hit me so hard but I was stuck watching it unfold, crying and wishing they didn't have to feel that. Maybe it was knowing the feeling, wanting so badly to change what had just happened but knowing you never could.
Looking for something else this time I walked into the living room just as the movie was ending. All the people gathered, looking at the tree, listening to Caspian. Seeing people leave all they had behind for a better life, and then the Kings and Queens leaving and going home was i don't even know. But i was holding it together until The Call by Regina Spektor started playing. The people leaving reminded me of the pioneers, they left with nothing but the clothes on their back and only with the promise of a better life. And then as Edmund, Susan, Peter and Lucy were leaving I knew what it was like, especially for Peter and Susan, leaving behind what feels like home but isn't for the place where you are supposed to belong. Saying goodbye forever.
I know this is stupid but this is who I am, this is who God meant me to be-at least in someways. I would expound but I'm leaving for youth conference [as a chaperone] in a few and i still have to get ready